i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize