Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
