well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
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