I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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