We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
