No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
