omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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