I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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