It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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