You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
