Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
