so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
