Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We were destined to go to rehab together
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize
