I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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