So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize