I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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