and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
When are your genitals available?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize