Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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