dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
