Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
