Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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