I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
