i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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