I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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