I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
There's always time for handjobs
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
