Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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