Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
are you so shy because you have an std?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
