im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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