Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
This house was built for laser tag.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
