i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
