i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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