There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Watching her eat just hurts me
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize
