If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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