hell yes lets make some ravioli
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
