i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Found your dick twin last night
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
