The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
