Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
