My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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