Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
