apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
