umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
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She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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