best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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