She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
