Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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