She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Actions speak louder than pants.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
