I am puke
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
