she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
