Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
