The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
