we're blogging at a bar
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
My life is pants optional.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
