thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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