never play flip cup with pint glasses
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
