i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
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nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
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I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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