It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
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