just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
