Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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