Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
